There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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