Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
