just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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