Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
