The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
