I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
