I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
