I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
