He kissed a someone with a penis
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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