yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
