you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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