My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
