Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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