yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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