Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
