There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
