Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
