Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
