dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
