I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
