How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
