I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
