I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
