How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
