I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
