you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
