So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
