If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I have aggressive nipples.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
