just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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