Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
