Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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