I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
