Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
