so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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