I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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