Do you still have your period?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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