sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
