I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
