Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
