I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
