Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
