I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
