I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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