y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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