Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
