I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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