I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
