he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
