oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Also, beer. Big fan.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
soo... how was my night?
And then he peed in my hair
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