I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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