i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
