By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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