I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
