My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
